"King of Art (part 4)"

I promise to bring more
In case you're keeping score
What you're about to see
Is "King of Art (part 4)"

All I learned in art school
Was to emulate and drool
The day I broke the rules
I discovered jewels

I was a diamond in the rough
Not a piece of coal
If you bought my paintings early
You're a wealthy soul

'Cuz I'm the archetype of hype
A better "go-getter"
My dots on the wall
Are redder

I got a refined palate
Look through rose colored glasses
I'm always being sought
For Master Classes

When I am sarcastic 
It appears I am a jerk
But my fans
Defend it as a quirk

'Cuz my name is the brand
That's in demand
It really doesn't matter if
My works come from my hand

'Cuz I make sales
My style prevails
Especially when it comes
To making sales

My work starts insurrections
It heralds new directions
It's used by institutions
To validate collections

People wait in line
To see my exhibitions
They don't seem to mind
About the steep price of admission

I'm a dandy, a trickster
A Met and MoMA fixture
Please stand behind the velvet rope
When you view my picture

So I'm singin'
Bye, bye hand-to-mouth artist guy
No more mac'n chesse and beans
And 40-ouncers to get by

I can take a limousine
Or bum a Gulfstream ride
Singin' this will the the way that I arrive
This will be the way that I thrive

The only thing
I ever wanted to be
Was an artist
With integrity

"King of Art 5 (sketch)"

One part inspiration
Ninety-nine parts me
If you want to make art history
That's how you should be

I got a stream of consciousness
Which gushes over banks
It sends me running
For my scuba tanks

I'm always forward facin'
Racin' and outpacin'
The art stars who've
Gotten too complacent

Forgot to mention this credential
It's really quite essential
I am the King
The King of Existential

I get nominated
For prestigious prizes
If you're gonna challenge me
Please realize this

My stretchers are straighter
My linen is tighter
The glow of my primer Is brighter

The works I make
Stop viewers in their tracks
They try to separate
The myths from the facts

My gestures are fast
My contours are slow
My aquarelles know
Just how to flow

I'm the King of the Stable
The artist most able
I bring buyers
To the table

I inspire the desire
To bid and acquire
No living artist's prices
Have gone higher

Sometimes critics speak
On behalf of humble masses
They say "I could do that"
But they don't get off their asses

So I bought an original
Thomas Kincaid
I opened up some Krylon
And I sprayed

"King of Art"

I'm the King of Art
A slacker inspired
Grad students make my work
I never grow tired

Believe the hype
I'm an archetype
You're jealous of my gifts
Which you may never swipe

I'm the host with the most
The present of the post
I'll be quaffin' ennui
'Til I give up the ghost

My fate is to create
And rate as great
So don't you be jealous
When I'm hangin' at the Tate

I drink old wine
I eat Ritz crackers
I snag Brie cheese
From huge platters

I hang my work
With tackle and boom
People are astonished
By my fluency in gloom

I got beanbags and shag
I dress in drag
Once on my Learjet
I puked and missed the bag

I'm the toast of the yacht
With irony I brought
Deconstructing discourse
Is the gift that I got

I'm a conniseur of kitsch
A post-ironic bitch
I dine with hedge fund managers
They always make me rich

I'm a fakir of myth
A maker of fables
I got impasto as thick
as shit in Augean stables

I Twitter, I chatter
I'm into anti-matter
I make pancakes
with Pollock splatter

My mother is MoMA my father is Dada
they met for MOCA
but I prefer Coolata

I sculpt with detritus
And piles of raw shit
When I'm feeling crafty
I sit and then I knit

I'm Yin, I'm Yang
An ambassador of slang
Commemorating NASA with sculptures made of Tang
I got a pimped-out studio
With Central Park address

I gotta wrap this up
So i can get some rest